So You Suspect Dementia, What Next?
/A dear elderly friend once told me, take very good care of your children and be nice to them as they will help determine your quality of life as you age with or without dementia.
So, you notice the following in your loved one. Burnt food? Misplacing things? Mixing up medication? Mixing up dates and time? Failure to pay bills? Wandering? Missing money? Forgetfulness? Missing sarcasm? Poor attention to grooming? Confusion? Missing appointments? Story Repetition? False accusation? Difficulty finding words? Change in mood? Social Withdrawal? So, you suspect a loved one has dementia.
So, you suspect a loved one has dementia. What's Next?
1. Share your suspicion with other close family members to see if they share your concerns.
2. Establish their safety, do they need close supervision till they see the doctor? Someone might have to step in to supervise them and keep them safe.
3. Carefully document the changes observed by all concerned parties.
4. Book an appointment with their regular physician ASAP, as early intervention can slow down the process.
5. Gather all medical records, including previous diagnosis, surgeries, hospitalizations to take to the appointment.
6. Take all medications, prescribed and over the counter to the appointment, as some medication can cause memory problems.
-It is always best to first consult with a family doctor or physician, the one who has handled their care the longest in recent times.
-in the absence of a regular Family Doctor, one should seek a consult with a Geriatrician, a doctor who specializes in the care of the elderly.
-The evaluation takes time as they must run various tests to rule out other possible causes of memory problems such a medication infection, or nutritional deficiencies.
- It might be necessary for further consultation with a Psychiatrist or Neurologist to confirm the diagnosis.
After the diagnosis and medical intervention, it is imperative that family members and loved ones get educated on dementia as this diagnosis, can take a toll on everyone. They need to know what is typical of dementia and when they must seek help.
After the diagnosis of dementia, is your loved one still competent?
A Psychiatrist diagnosis’s mental capacity and based on that a Judge determines competency. Can the person still make decisions on their own, or do they need help making decisions?
Do they have advance directives? Advance directive refers to written or oral instructions about their future care, if they are no longer competent to make informed decisions. There are two types of advance directives: A health care directive and a durable power of attorney for health care.
It might be necessary to obtain a legal consult ASAP, to ascertain guardianship or Power of Attorney if they have advanced directives in place.
Are the family members able to pay for care or does the person have long term care insurance? Do they have to share the care giving in turn? Dementia can be very expensive.
A thorough reassessment of the living condition of the person diagnose with dementia, must be done, to ensure that they are safe and well taken care of. A safety assessment is necessary to prevent medication mix up, wandering, accidents, poor grooming, poor nutrition and elder abuse.
It might also be necessary to ensure finances are well taken care of to ensure they are comfortable for the rest of their lives.
It is important to prevent abuse as the elderly are regularly victims of abuse, by lurking con men and even close family members who take money from them and even steal their valuables.
All valuables must be stored away safely, to avoid them being preyed upon, some people specialize on preying on the elderly by offering to help them just to gain access to their valuables, in the process they can hurt the elderly.
As I look around our house one day, it suddenly dawned on me that, 3 of my neighbors have their parents living with them, or next door to them or across the street from them. I marveled at such foresight as these arrangements were put in place over twelve years ago while their parents were probably in their early 60s, just after retiring, still strong and agile. Some of their parents moved from a different State to make this happen and others from different countries to be close to their children. These grandparents helped raise their grandchildren and as they age the grandchildren join their children in caring for them. It is just part of the life cycle, we come, we fulfill God’s purpose, by God’s grace we fulfill our days and we go to heaven. Planning to age and die is imperative and important when you still have choices.
Another phenomenon is downsizing, as people age they cut down on their life style to reduce stress and make life more manageable. Some even sell their big homes and move into ranch style homes or bungalow because of joint issues. They actively plan their future. Some people move into nice communities that cater to 55 years and above, that offer services beneficial and interesting to improve their quality of life. This are not nursing homes but well laid out, beautiful neighborhoods with swimming pool, club house, golf courses, tennis courts, restaurants to cater to their needs as they age. They retire in style!!!
So, your loved one has dementia? Surround them with love, sing with them, laugh with them, eat with them, make videos with them, take photographs with them help them dress up sharply, celebrate them, enjoy them while you still have them around. While my parents didn’t have dementia,
I still carry around videos on my mom and dad singing just before they passed on. This is priceless and when I miss them I watch the videos.
“Even to your old age I will be the same, and even to your graying years I will bear you. I have done it, and I will carry you; and I will bear you and I will deliver you ”
Coming soon…Practical steps to prepare for aging..