Lesson One- Agreement
/Lesson One-Agreement
I love attending weddings, they are beautiful and fairytale in nature. Fairytale indeed, as that is just the tip of the iceberg. Think back for a second and recall how many fairytale weddings you have attended that ended up within a few years in divorce. In my clinical practice, and social life, I have observed a trend, most people are more invested in the wedding than the marriage it self. Once the wedding celebration is over, the guests are gone, the dust is settled and honeymoon is over, couple then come back to reality, some landing harder than others into the real world! Many couples start to struggle over the simplest of things. I recall a couple I met a few years ago, the wife expected to quit her job after the honeymoon the husband said no.
He wanted her to remain employed more so to help him recover from the expense of the extravagant destination wedding they just had, that left a big hole in his pocket. The husband also said they needed to buy a house. His agenda was totally different from hers, how did that happen? Didn't they discuss their exceptions and their future together? He said he discussed his plans with her while they were dating, was she so consumed with the wedding plans that she failed to hear him or talk about her own expectations? Was she hoping to change her husband's mind once they got married as many of us women think we can do? I recall the wife saying she never bargained for that.....In my mind I wondered if she ever bargained for anything beyond the wedding!
Dr. Omobolaji-Oyebanjo Popoola
#graceshrink