Preventing Domestic Violence Part B
/To ensure you are on the same page and to avoid confusion, God defined the kind of love to be expected in a marriage. This love defined is beyond romantic love, but is God’s kind of Love, agape love—the kind Jesus has for the church. As Ephesians 5 explains:
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
• The man’s love is sacrificial.
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
• Love cleanses and sanctifies with kind words, not verbal abuse.
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
• Love builds us up, removing our spots, wrinkles, and blemishes.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
• This love is selfless.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
• Love that nourishes and cherishes your body will not beat you up.
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
• The man should see you as part of him and carry you along in all decisions.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
• Your opinions should matter more than those of the buddies, father, mother, sister or brother.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
• Marriage is a mysterious and spiritual transaction that needs the supernatural input of God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit to succeed. This is why it is important to go into marriage with someone who is yielded to God and shares the same spiritual DNA with you, someone who is born again.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
* A woman needs to ensure she marries a man who loves her the way Christ loves the Church, a genuine God-lover and -server. She is commanded to revere her husband. Behavior, actions, upbringing, relationships, and words during courtship must never be ignored, but should be prayerfully examined as the holy spirit might be trying to warn you. Never forget that submission to your husband is a commandment of God, which is why every woman must look carefully before taking the leap into marriage. Don't get carried away by the fairytale weddings and social pressures. If in doubt, do not marry him!
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
• A woman is commanded to submit unto her husband as unto the Lord! If you don't trust or respect him, do not marry him so that you don't have to fall into disobedience.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. thing.
• The husband is the head of the wife and the savior of the body. If you are the savior of the body, you cannot destroy the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
• The woman is subject to the husband in everything. As a Christian woman, are you ready to be subject to this person in all things? If you are dating a lunatic, woman-beater, male chauvinist, drug user, drunkard, porn addict, or just someone who exhibits poor judgement, yet you still want to marry him, please do yourself a favor: apply the brakes!
Let me say that marrying a Christian who loves you doesn't mean you will never experience setbacks or even abuse in your marriage. Even Christians stray from the Word and are sometimes disobedient. However, at least it gives you the right foundation, which means you’ll have a fighting chance thanks to Jesus being on the same boat with you. It also gives you a yardstick of what to expect and helps you set standards that we all ought to work on attaining.
No Christian is perfect. We are all works in progress. But every true Christian acknowledges the supremacy of God’s word in all situations, using the Bible for instruction and direction.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
So to those who are unequally yoked or yoked to someone in disobedience, (assuming your safety is not in question) the Bible has a way out:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. (1 Peter 3:1-4)
As I said in one of my other articles, some abuse can be prevented and some cannot. If you can avoid the triggers of abuse in your relationship, still want to fight for your marriage, and are not at risk of violence, 1 Peter 3:1-4 gives clear guidelines on how to influence your unbelieving husband. However, if your life (or the life of your dependent ones) are in danger, it might be necessary to separate and seek help or a protective order while you let the Holy Spirit guides you to the next step.